Artemis Fowl New and Original Codes Decoded
by Minevera Elizabeth Juniper
Summary: I realize that a lot of people have already done this, but I noticed that the new Artemis Fowl covers also have new codes and so I thought I'd give you guys both versions the original and new codes. Right now I only have the first 2 books for now.
1. Artemis Fowl Original Version

**Artemis Fowl**

Original version

The prophecies of Ohm, phlegm pot cleaner, to Frond, elfin king.

I am Ohm, phlegm pot cleaner to the king, but I am much more than that for I see the future written in the phlegm. For centuries we pixies have read the phlegm, but I am the best there has ever been. My visions are generally of little importance, I foretell outbreaks of troll pox or gas spasms among elderly dwarfs, but sometimes even a poor pot cleaner can see wondrous things. A vision came to me two moons ago when I was gazing deep into his majesty's own phlegm pot. I was heating the pot over a flame when the sign appeared. This vision was more vivid and detailed than any I had previously seen. Because of its importance I decided to write it down for posterity and so I can say I told you so.

I saw an age when the People have been driven underground by the Mud Men. This is what the phlegm told me. In this time one shall come among us, Fowl by name and foul by nature, a mud man unlike any other. He shall learn our secrets and use them against us. I see him now as plain as day. His face is pale, he has dark eyes, and raven hair.

Yet it must be a mistake for he seems a mere youth. Surely no mud boy could outwit the People, but now I see that the boy is not alone. He is aided by a formidable warrior, scared from a thousand battles. This Fowl shall hold the People to ransom for their most precious possession, gold, and in spite of all our magic there is still a chance that he will prevail, for he has discovered how to escape the time field.

Unfortunately how the story ends I cannot say, but there was more to see. There is another story to come. Someone will bring the People and the Mud Men together. The worst of both races. This fairy's goal is to grind all the creatures to earth beneath his boot. And who is this traitor is not clear, but he shall start a war unlike anything the People have ever seen. Those who were enemies shall be united against him, and for the first time there will be mud men below ground.

I have one clue to his identity, a riddle.

_Goblins shall rise and Haven shall fall.  
>A villainous elf is behind it all,<br>To find the one who so disappoints,  
>Look ye to where the finger points.<br>Instead of one face this elf has two,  
>Both speak false and none speak true.<br>While publicly he lends a helping hand,  
>His true aim is to seize command.<em>

I know. It's not very plain is it? I don't understand either, but perhaps in the future all will become clear. Look for a power hungry elf who has a finger pointed at him during our tale. And so, this is Ohm's legacy. A warning that may save the world from total destruction.

There's not much to work with I know. The details are a bit sketchy. My advice to you is to consult the phlegm. It may be that you are sensitive. I have buried this prophecy with my phlegm pot. If you are not fortunate enough to work as a pot cleaner then there is usually a supply of phlegm every time you have a cold. Here ends the first prophecy of Ohm.

Because of the importance of my visions I shall repeat the prophecies once more. If you have just begun to understand the text then read on. If you have worked out the entire message then congratulations. Now go and save the world.


	2. Artemis Fowl New Version

**Artemis Fowl**

New Version

The first reference to Artemis Fowl in the human media is in a newspaper article from Dublin chronicle. Artemis made the paper by solving the riddle of the mayor of Dublin's chains.

The mayor held a press conference, to appeal for help after the cities priceless chains of office were stolen. Artemis managed to persuade his bodyguard to bring him along.

When the reporters had finished asking their questions, Artemis raised his hand. The Mayor allowed the small boy to ask his question, expecting something simple and childlike. Instead Artemis asked him, to name three kinds of butterfly.

When the mayor could not answer, Artemis stood on his chair and addressed the journalists present. He told them that in his opinion the mayoral chains could not have been stolen from the secure vault or taken from around the mayor's neck without his knowledge. So this man could not be the mayor, he must be an imposter.

The proof of this was that the real mayor was a keen butterfly collector and would most certainly have been able to answer Artemis's question. Most journalists laughed, but one did not. He suggested that the mayor allow himself to be fingerprinted.

The man calling himself mayor panicked and ran.

It was later discovered that this man was indeed an imposter. He was the mayors own twin brother.

The real mayor was being held in a warehouse in the south of the city. The plan was to hold him for a week while his twin's gang looted the mayoral mansion and cashed the insurance check for the ceremonial chains.

Artemis Fowl was six years old when he foiled this plan.


	3. The Arctic Incident Original Version

**The Arctic Incident**

Original Version

Congratulations human. If you have cracked this code then you are more intelligent than most of your species. This is a message from the Fairy People.

We are seeking out our allies among the mud men. Though most humans are dull-witted creatures there are exceptions. You for example. The reason for your intelligence is that you have fairy ancestors. Do you feel different from those around you? Are your ears a bit pointier than most? Is your tongue long enough to touch your nose? Do you dream of flying? Have you ever thought that you do not belong among the mud men? That is because you have fairy blood in your veins.

So young Mud Fairy I have a mission for you. As one of the People it is your duty to protect the Earth from those who would destroy it. You must become one of a new race of mud men who love this planet as much as the Fairy Folk. There is one simple rule. Use only what you need and use it wisely. Do this and the Earth will survive. Go now and begin your quest. I shall repeat this message for those Humans whose Fairy intelligence is buried a bit deeper than yours.


	4. The Arctic Incident New Version

**The Arctic Incident**

**New Version**

One of the strangest creatures on the Earth, or more accurately below, is the common stink worm.

Stink worms can only survive below the earth crust and so have never been seen by humans. The stink worm can grow to a length of fifteen centimeters and a diameter of up to eight centimeters. The bigger a stink worm is the more meat there is on its soft boned skeleton and the more valuable it is to a merchant.

Stink worms are big business in the fairy world and have been for thousands of years.

They are very versatile and can be boiled, fried, baked or even eaten raw, though this sushi approach can be difficult to swallow as the stink associated with the worms does not disappear until they are cooked.

The current favorite way to eat the stink worm is in a dish similar to Bolognese, substituting stink worms for spaghetti. Deep fried on a skewer is popular among the younger generation.

What makes the stink worm so delicious is the juice. When the worm is heated in a pan or oven it bastes itself in a delicious spicy juice, which even the best chefs have failed to reproduce. This juice is in fact earwax from the hundreds of ears that covers each worm's body.

Some more sensitive fairies cannot forget that they are eating earwax and do not enjoy eating stink worms, but most are so entranced by the flavors that they are quite prepared to ignore where it comes from.

Goblins in particular love stink worms and are constantly inventing new ways to consume them.

The rarest and most prized stink worm dish is a stir fried bowl of stink worm ears. The ears are shaved from the worms' body, rolled in flour and then lightly fried. This dish takes hours to prepare and costs a fortune.

Goblins believe that if you eat a bowl of worm ears then you absorb the worms' memories of the places they have visited. This is not an appealing thought when you consider that a stink worm's favorite environment is fresh troll dung.


End file.
